Is it worth it?
by nondescriptf
Summary: Futurefic a couple of months post 4.10 - a conversation between Nate and Dan that cannot be avoided if Dan and Blair start being anything other than frenemies...pairings - B/S, B/S/N, B/N, C/B, Ca/B, Ca/S, D/S and D/B.


A/N: This is a one-shot future fic that has been plaguing my mind. I imagine this takes place in February 2011, fast forward a few episodes where there is the promise of or an alleged Dan/Blair (bleh!) romance. A conversation between Nate and Dan, that _needs_ to happen, that _must_ happen, in my opinion. Because really, doesn't it go against the natures of both Blair and Dan to lower their standards and get together?

Enjoy!

* * *

_I'm going to ask Blair Waldorf out on a date._

As he walks around the loft's kitchen, pouring himself a mug of coffee, he can't help but remember that moment from last night. The moment where he tucked that loose curl behind Blair's ear, and she had looked up at him with that smile. A smile so sweet that he had to catch his breath. Her cheeks had been flushed and when she fluttered her lashes, he had wanted to kiss her desperately. Blair's tinkling laughter, coupled with a soft _thank you_, had forced him to step back. They had walked back to her penthouse in a companionable silence, but the rapid beating of his heart thundered in his ears. She had impulsively leaned over and brushed her lips against his cheek whispering, _I'll call you tomorrow_. And he had found himself wondering what she would taste like.

He sips his piping hot caffeine fix and sits down to open up that morning's New York Times. He couldn't help but notice the irony that he was setting the scene, just so, without an audience. No one could see him pretend to read. Who was he kidding? He stares off into space and pictures her ruby red lips—lips that were begging to be kissed. The loud knock at the door jolts him from his daydreams.

"Dan!" Nate's voice is heard through the door. "Man, are you there?"

A look of confusion crosses his face, as he glances at his watch while walking to the door. Eight-thirty a.m. on a Saturday? Did they have plans?

Dan swings the door open. "Hey! Did we …?" He trails off, gesturing between the two of them with a semi-apologetic look.

Nate smiles easily in return, as he leans against the doorway. "No, but I was in the neighborhood, and thought I'd drop by. Is that coffee I smell?"

Before Dan can ask him what he was doing in Brooklyn so early, Nate has already barreled past him and is helping himself to a mug in the Humphrey kitchen.

"You were in the neighborhood this early on a Saturday?" Dan asks with a look of disbelief as he watches Nate top off his coffee with the cream from the fridge. He can't pinpoint it, but this just kind of feels _wrong_.

"Couldn't sleep last night, so I was up early for my run. I was craving breakfast at that old diner I used to go to when I had to visit my dad, and voila, I appeared at your door," Nate explains. "Am I cramping your style?"

"No, no," Dan pauses. For a brief moment, he wonders if he is imagining the invisible tension filling the room. Nate might be the pretty one, but he was often underestimated for his stealth. After all, one mustn't forget that he is Chuck Bass' best friend and dated Blair Waldorf for over four years. Clarity strikes. So _that's_ why he's here. "But I can hazard a guess for this visit."

"What? Can't I just drop by to see _my_ _good friend_?" Nate returns with a look of innocence.

Dan crosses his arms. "You're good, but you're not _that_ good."

Nate shrugs as he plops into the oversized armchair. The silence stretches between them for more than a moment, and as Dan moves to sit on the edge of the couch, Nate finally breaks. "You've been spending a lot of time with Blair."

It's his turn to shrug. Why should Nate be preoccupied by the fact that he was spending time with her?

"Dude, like _a lot _of time. Gossip Girl practically sends out a daily blast about where you and Blair were spotted."

"So?"

"_So?_ That's all you have to say?"

"Whose business is it that Blair and I have become friends? I mean, is it really that surprising?" Even as the words spill out of his mouth, Dan realizes how ludicrous that notion sounds. He groans when Nate starts to answer.

"Are you listening to yourself, man? We're talking about _you_, Brooklyn, with the former Queen of Constance and the Upper East Side Princess, Blair Waldorf. So yeah, it's really surprising. In fact, its borderline unbelievable."

He wants to defend himself, say something—anything, really—but he's at a loss for words. He realizes how just minutes ago, he had decided to ask Blair out on a date. Now he's playing verbal chess with her ex-boyfriend, her first love. When had the world become so unbalanced?

"But I get it, Blair's an incredible girl." Nate continues. Apparently a response was _not_ required from him. "Sometimes you forget how much of a girl is buried behind the woman. But she never fails to amaze me. How is it possible for her to be such a snob that the only department stores she'll enter is Bendel's or Bergdorf's, but she's afraid of the subway and her affinity for pop culture references are endless?"

"Or how she knows every obscure random 'hipster' literary quote? And can name every liberal that walked this earth?" Dan responds with a laugh.

"Or how she's an undercover nerd that speaks flawless French?"

"Or how she always manages to insult you when she's being the most fiercest and loyal friend?"

"That she both bosses Dorota around like she's a third-world servant, but she's Blair's only other real girlfriend besides Serena?"

They turn to each other as the mention of Serena brings unease to the room. The shared laugher from a moment ago about the Queen B has passed

Again, it is Nate who breaks the awkward silence, "I'm just gonna come out and say it, because there's no other way to avoid it, but you do realize that if you decide you want to try to date Blair, that you're effectively ending any future chance of getting back together with Serena, right?"

It shouldn't hurt him to hear the words voiced, but Dan feels a pang in his chest. He looks at Nate and finally understands what it feels like to be Blair Waldorf with Serena van der Woodsen as her best friend. Because, even though Nate Archibald may not be his _best friend_, and regardless of how smart and witty, he, Dan Humphrey, may be, Nate always seems to shine, just a little bit brighter.

Trying to remove any trace of bitterness, Dan answers, "I think Serena made it pretty clear that she currently has no plans of rekindling anything between us. Because she needs to be alone, she needs to find herself."

"And you think passing the time with her best friend is the most ideal way to wait her out?" Nate asks in disbelief. "Let me tell you, that would be the stupidest thing you could do."

"Don't make Blair sound like a passing fancy. God, and you wonder what made her so insecure the whole time you two dated? She's smart and clever and beautiful," Dan says hotly. "Besides, I'm supposed to take advice from the guy who slept with Serena while he was Blair's boyfriend? I think I'll pass on your advice."

"You don't get it, man," Nate says calmly. "Before there was a Dan and Serena, there was Serena and Blair. There was also Blair, Serena and myself. You think shooting barbs at me is gonna make you feel any better about the fact that you haven't fucking thought _any_ of this through? I don't need you to lecture me about how I've treated Blair in the past. She and I have already worked through that, water under the bridge. She's my friend."

"And you're honestly telling me, as _her friend_, that I could in any way hurt her _more_ than Chuck or you ever did?"

"You're missing the point. What I'm trying to say is, as unfair as it's going to sound, I'm the only guy that Serena and Blair will ever allow themselves to share. They love each other so much—too much, sometimes. But both of those girls will always be part of my childhood dreams and fantasies, as much as I will always be a part of theirs."

"Your modesty is so admirable." Dan says sarcastically.

Nate shrugs. "Just because it sounds pompous and arrogant, doesn't make it any less true."

Dan wants to throw his mug at Nate. This is not how he wants to spend Saturday morning, having to discuss the dating intricacies of their incestuous social circle. But mostly, he wants to throw his mug at Nate, because he cannot deny that what he said was anything less than the truth.

"And Carter? All-knowing one?"

Nate glares at him while slowly grinding out his words. "Carter falls into a special category all on his own. Blair only dabbled in him because of the downward spiral caused by _your_ Ms. Carr." The pointed look is not missed, and Dan has the decency to blush. "And it didn't get serious between Serena and him until _after_ the Blair incident, which was them mutually using one another."

Dan stands up, and walks to the fridge and pulls out a couple of beers. If he's going to have to continue this conversation, he sure as hell doesn't want to be sober for it, regardless of the fact that it is nine-fifteen a.m. He walks back and hands Nate a bottle as he settles into the couch.

Nate shoots him a grateful look as he downs half the bottle in one gulp before proceeding. "It does _not_ help that Blair is also convinced that Carter is Serena's 'Chuck,' so any odd weirdness it might have caused has been expunged."

He can't help but note how irritable Nate looks after the latest revelation. And while Dan feels slightly less convinced that he should ask Blair out on a date, he's not certain that what Nate has presented thus far is enough.

"Look, man, if you think Blair's worth it—and believe me, she is absolutely worth it," Nate says as he gets a faraway look on his face. Nate's mind flashes to the night of cotillion when he and Blair first slept together; she had been a vixen and sweet, all in one. When they were together at the end of senior year, he remembers the balance of her determination to forge a new identity for herself and her sense of loss of all her childhood hopes and dreams. While she might be the biggest bitch he knows, he cannot remember having ever felt more loved before, either. "But you have to know that that's what you want, _forever_, and that she's not just your first choice, but your only choice."

"Don't you think this is a little much? We haven't gone out on a date, or kissed even!" Dan says exasperatedly. "You're saying that I should be ready to pick out china patterns and do the wedding registry?"

"Not necessarily, she'd have to decide first that _she_ wanted you." Nate clarifies. "I'm just saying, that even casually dating Blair Waldorf, means closing the door forever to Serena van der Woodsen."

"Why are you helping me?" Dan accuses. "It's not like you haven't lied to me before about your motivations about Serena."

"Because if Serena and I end up together, I want it to be because she _chose_ me, not because I was the only option left," Nate snaps. "Look, you're not the only one who's in this predicament, it applies to Chuck, too. If he and Serena ever hooked up, even if they were hopped up on drugs, drunk or it happened on accident, Chuck may as well kill himself, because that will be the only thing she could never forgive him for. And that may be the only thing that could destroy Blair and Serena."

"That's so reassuring. Thanks for making me feel better." Dan mocks.

"Seriously, dude, think about it. At some point, Chuck's going to buy a clue and he'll stop hurting her, and start making things up to her instead. You know this, right? They're eventually going to figure it out and end up married and breed the most devious little terrors in the world. It's almost a given. And when it's Thanksgiving dinner at the Humphreys, do you really want to sit next to Jenny realizing that you two have slept with that couple? The squick factor alone makes me want to vomit."

Dan shudders at the thought.

"Not to mention just how more tenuous things will be with Chuck shooting daggers at you, while Serena ignores both you and Blair. Ultimately, it's Lily that's going to pay the price. Her daughter, her stepson and her adoptive son not being able to stand being in the same room with each other. If you thought Serena acted badly towards Jenny when she was making a play for me, it would be tame in comparison to how she'd treat Blair. You've seen how nasty and vicious they are when they're hurt. Just how much they lash out at one another, preying on the other's insecurities, but in the end they both just hurt themselves," Nate surmises.

And one by one all the things about Blair Waldorf he would _never_ like start revealing themselves to him. He doesn't quite think he can ever forgive her for taking Jenny and transforming her into a soulless version of herself. He's not sure that he'll ever understand that sometimes, Blair Waldorf had no limits when she is driven to have it _her _way. And even though she is that self-conscious girl who never thinks of herself as enough, and would slay dragons to protect those closest to her, she'll never be completely self-assured. Despite that fact that Blair is not a _good_ person, she also has never been fully _bad_. But—she would forever be that ninety-five pound, doe-eyed, bon mots tossing, label-whoring package of girly evil.

With a sigh, he realizes just as truthfully, that the part of him that would always love Serena van der Woodsen and never give up on her, is the same part of her that would always love Chuck Bass and never stop believing in him. They were the same side of the coin, drawn to the other for comfort. Each understanding the intensity of the love they had for someone else. They wouldn't be bad for each other, and each would teach the other some wonderful lessons about life and themselves, but it would never amount to anything other than being in the moment. For him, Blair would be just another one of the women in his life that he caught temporarily, before letting them fly back to their natural habitat. For her, he imagines she'd reflect on this as her "slumming" phase. But both girls would always think of him as the one who robbed her of her best friend.

Nate stands up, looks him in the eye and says, "Just make sure you know what you're doing, because once it happens, you can never take it back."

"I know," Dan answers softly.

He puts his empty beer bottle on the table. "I should get going, I feel like I had an intense therapy session."

"Do you need a hug?"

"No thanks. Unless you need one?" Nate chuckles as Dan shakes his head in the negative. "Think about what I said, man."

"I will."

As Nate glances back, Dan already has that pensive look on his face. He closes the loft door shut softly, and waits until he reaches the street before allowing the smirk to cross his face. Nate turns and looks up at the loft, _mission accomplished_.

With his hands sliding into his pant pockets, he whistles as he walks down the street. Mentally, he crosses Dan off his list. He'll wait until tomorrow to take Blair to brunch. And most likely he'll convince Serena to go with him to a matinee afterwards. But tonight, drinks with Chuck at the Empire seem like a good plan.

.

.

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_**Fin.

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**_

I hope you enjoyed the conversation that has been wreaking havoc in my brain.

For the _amazing_ Noirreigne, who rocks my world and always encourages me to do my thing, and who is the best beta a girl could ask for. And for _incomparable_ katiedv, who humored me by letting me bounce ideas off of her, and bounced some right back at me!

And to my readers who want to know, NO, I have not abandoned Mad About You, I just really haven't wanted to write the next chapter, but you can expect an update in the next week or so.


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